Ok, I'm flustered right now so forgive me if this comes out as a verbal hemorrhage..
I GOT MY FIRST ROYALTY CHECK FROM AMAZON!
Well, it's only for seventy cents, which means I sold exactly 7 copies of my poetry book "Love, Dark and Frozen", but dang it, I GOT PAID, and somewhere seven people thought well enough of me to buy the damn thing.
No advertising. Mentioned it ONCE in 2 chat rooms and in message boards ONCE.
I feel, as small as this thing is, validated as a writer. Somewhere, someone thought my writing was worth going through the trouble of buying it.
About 35 years or more ago, me and a bunch of my friends at the time bet on who would sell something creative first.
I was voted LAST.
As time has passed, I've watched my friends vanish, "settle down" with a family, give up on their dreams. Honest to Deity, I have no idea why, or even HOW, I kept on.
And here I am at 55, my music selling on two collections to support a Website (both sold really well), and now.. even though the money is meaningless.. this is an incredible milestone for me. I feel validated as a writer.
Someone cares. Someone appreciates my words enough to go through Amazons checkout process.
It is a moral victory, and meaningless to the outside world. But inside me, I'm glowing. MY WORDS MATTER, even if only to seven people.
I'm celebrating tonight, and will of course laminate the check and frame it later.
Seventy cents has changed my worldview. I feel inspired to write, more and more.
It's not a living wage, but for my soul, it's a feast.