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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Tearing up roots

I am a nomad.  I prefer to never put down roots, always moving.  Stability is a curse, the dark allure of home is pain.

So, here in Tulsa, this is my nemesis.

I have more friends here than ever, people who actually care and worry. And I hate that.

Why? It's a burden of responsibility to be there for them, to not just pack up and go.  To feel some.. insane.. connection to people whom I've spent time with, face to face.  People as real as breathing.

I will die in not too many years, between the diabetes and the blood pressure and the cumulation of 40 years of bad life choices, like a tall tree in the woods, I will fall. And I don't want to take anyone with me.

This is why I want to be alone.  I can't give my heart to anyone because Sabine took it with her when she passed, and every relationship I've had since is haunted by her memory.  And I know my self-destructive habits will pull me down without love to hold me back, and that's never happening again.

So, as hard as people try to call me in, I drive myself away.  I will move and vanish, again, to keep my course into a dark place where, I hope, I will be reunited with my Lady.

The sidewinder travels the desert alone, complete unto himself.   Call me the Feathered Serpent, for that is who I am.

Take care, be well all.  Be warm and safe!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Cold Turkey

I guess it's time to force myself to reduce my time online, I have to much I want to do and I'm throwing a huge amount of my free time down the rat-hole.

The main issue is real-time chat.  It's very addictive for me, I love to jump in and amuse the heck out of folks, and get amused in return.. but I end up spending 2-3 hours A NIGHT in chat, and that's time I could use making music, working on album art, or teaching myself C#/.NET.

Everything else is minor.  Maybe 20 minutes on the DAZ forum, about the same on Ambient Online, 5-10 blogging, 5 on Facebook.. and that's if I didn't do it during dead time at work!

So, I don't need to cut back on chat, that ever work, I get sucked in and it's over.  I just need to flat-out QUIT.

And no more Web-only relationships.  I have plenty of drama in my life, adding to it with unrealistic expectations on my part is stupid beyond words.

With any luck, there'll be more music and art as a result of this.

Wish me luck!

Friday, February 6, 2015

Moving on!

I took a look back over my career as a software dude, and I can't believe it - I've been programming for pay since my senior year in high school, back in 1978!  Holy carp!

I've been doing embedded system work off and on for the past 20 years, and let me tell you, it's getting BORING.  There are only a few things I haven't done in the embedded space, wireless is one of them.. and wireless is getting SUPER popular..

So, in the "career enhancement" frame of mind, I just spent $120 on a bunch of Texas Instruments hardware that will let me attach sensors (light, pressure, temperature, humidity) to a wireless-enabled microcontroller, the microcontroller board itself,. an an additional plug-in board with a 96x96 monochrome LCD display!

During lunch, I'll be programming the board to capture all the sensor data and make it available via WiFi.. this will let me learn networking and wireless communication on the cheap (cheap is good).

But that's just to enhance my embedded marketability.  Because I intend to change specialty!

Evenings, 1-2 days a week, I will take a break from music to tech myself C# and .NET.   My intention is to develop a commercial-grade application, which I will then sell.  I found a very under-served niche, and better, I'm part of that niche so I can "eat my own dog food" and use my app for my own media-based work.

I hope to quit embedded systems work in 2-3 years, become a C#/.NET guy, and then I can work.. pretty much anywhere!

90% of embedded systems work is in tech-hub areas, and while there are some good places (Silicon Valley, Atlanta) I'd rather have more freedom to choose where my next contract will be.

This is how I got into the games business.. prove my skill by making a product.  It's VERY effective, if you can pull it off.

Until later!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Stupor Bowl Sundae!

It's that time of year again!  The time when testosterone calls men everywhere to watch a bunch of dudes grab a ball and run around with it while hitting each other.  What could be more fun?

So here I am, pizza and wings pre-ordered, NFL for Windows 8 running on my Windows 8 tablet (yep, football 24/7), eating leftover Chinese food for breakfast and drinking a nice tall mug of Velton's coffee, hand-ground by me, freshly brewed.  Can't get much better, a few exotic dancers would be nice but distract me from the game.

Before the actual GAME starts, I'm going to try to get the basic tracks down for a new tune, called "Alone With My Demons", for the Ambient Online Compilation #4.  I finished one song yesterday, a light-side tune called "Crystallinear".  Obviously, today is equal time for the Dark Side.

Ugh, the video stream is HD and it hiccups on occasion on the tablet.. but plenty smooth to watch out of the corner of my eye.

Happy Stupor Bowl!